Kylie's Knee-Jerk Reaction

As I first look over the graded draft, I see that I am still having problems with verb tense and wordiness. I was glad to see that I did not have any "major" sentence structure errors. I did not know that it was so important to switch between names and personal pronouns, but that's easy to fix. Also, no entire sections where crossed out and that is good. Overall I think my grade was fitting for my first draft.