As pointed out in my paper, I had some issues with comma splices and parallelism.
A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses are joined by a comma with no conjunction.
EX: It is nearly half past five, we cannot reach town before dark.
A way to correct the problem could be to change the comma to a semicolon, or write the two clauses as two seperate sentences.
Parallelism occurs when there is a similarity of structure in a pair or series of related words, phrases, or clauses.
EX: She tried to make her pastry fluffy, sweet, and delicate.
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