Argument paper blog

Knee Jerk Response

My first response was that I expected several minor errors. I wasn't that surprised, I'm pretty happy about the grade I received.

Plan for 2nd draft

• fix all errors pointed out to me on the paper
• use more of a variety of words to begin sentences
• make it sound less listy
• add my own commentary to the paper maybe with personal examples
• combine several of my citations together
• change in paper citations to only 2-3 words
  

The "Why's"

• Imagine legalizing marijuana and in the next five years the usage will quadruple. This would lead to higher drop out rates at school, higher unemployment, and health care would be burdened by many more people, which would then lead to increased cost of healthcare benefits to the unemployed which would come out of our taxes.
• If we legalized marijuana, in the next five years, the usage might quadruple. This would lead to higher drop out rates at school, higher unemployment and health care costs.

You asked 'why the change?' because I already said the last sentence in the beginning of my paper, so readers already know that.