Patrick cuts across seven lanes of traffic without slowing down. "Patrick this is not how you drive when you have alcohol in your car," Daniel yells. The car is past maximum capacity and we have to make due. I am sitting in the middle row with Jamie on my lap. "afre you comfortable? My leg has been dead as of about thirty minutes ago," I ask. Charles and Darrin are in the middle row beside Jamie and Me. Michael and Greg relax it the back row. Daniel is riding shotgun, which leaves Patrick as the driver. We have been in the car for forty-five minuts.
We lose our way thanks to Darrin and Charles bad directions, passing the same shut down pub multiple times. We eventually find signs directing us towards Turner Field. While driving we pass multiple cops, each time Patrick yells to Jamie, "Get your damn head down, if I get pulled over for something dumb like that and we all get charged with minors in possession I swear I will kill you!" Patrick is paranoid of getting pulled over with all the beer and he realizes the blame would mainly be on him. The road splits into five lanes, each going to different color lots. We choose blue, anyone planning on tailgating chooses this one.
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2 comments:
Cooper, ur paper was really good in that it had a lot of character and you are able to give your readers a great sense of what really went on, emotions and such. However, there are some grammatical and puntual errors, All in all, I enjoyed reading it.
Its good and sounds interesting so far. You could add more details about the discomfort of being in a packed car like that and also add more details about the paranoia of being in the car with beer. I loike the beginning though. Its grabs attention.
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