As we pulled off the interstate, I said a quick thank you to God, for Patrick’s driving was anything but uneventful. The car took an abrupt right and Patrick glanced into the rearview. His eyes gave us a quick apologetic look. The car flew down the lane, surrounded by seedy bars and the black tinted windows of the porn shops.
“This is never going to work,” Daniel said with a strong hint of paranoia in his voice.
“Yeah right, like you have anything to worry about, you look like your twenty five,” I shouted back. Daniel was the only one of us who could easily play off the lie we were telling that night. He had been shaving since kindergarten, I was sure of it.
“Seriously man, just relax and think of the sexy femilias,” Patrick said in his best Spanish accent. Patrick was never much of the scholarly type. Guided by my brother’s words of wisdom, “No ID required”, three of my closest and most immature friends and I packed into the car and headed off on a mission. Our mission that night was one of exotic dancers and a cheap buzz. Simply put, we were off to the hookah bar. Images of belly dancers swam through our heads, but there was also the tug of fear in the back of our minds.
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2 comments:
Ok to start off I think that you really have something here! I was drawn into your story from the very beginning and I love that when I'm reading something. I felt just as paranoid as Patrick did and getting done with just the first two paragraphs, I had a sense of every character in the car and the excitement that you guys felt on your way to the hookah bar. Good start!
I agree with Allie!! I really enjoyed reading this paper. It was no where near dull! I also felt like I was watching this on tv or in a movie. It was very real and the first paragraph "hooked" me. Good job..I can't wait to read the rest of the paper!!! :)
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