The heat, the sweat, and the uncomfortable feeling of walking outside in mid August is unbearable. Attending "Bizarre on the Bricks" at Kennesaw State University is a great day to mingle with other people and get an chance to see what's going on in Kennesaw, except when its over 100 degrees outside. I was walking around with my new roommate, Asia, just getting free stuff from vendors and signing up for free items or placing my name and phone number on a list to be contacted about something that they were giving away. One particular vendor that day had a day at the spa package to sign up for. That sounded really nice, scribbled my name down on the list along with my phone number. "This something I've always wanted to do" I thought to myself. It was going to be a great time to be able to relieve stress and relax. Little did I know I would be reliving stress, but not in the way I thought I would be.
Four days later my cell phone rang with an unknown number. "Hello?" I answered.
"Is this Natalie Chambers?" the voice responded from the other end.
"Yes it is." I replied
"Wanted to call about the free kick boxing session you signed up for?" the man said.
"MY WHAT?!?!" I retorted with.
"You signed up for a free class of kick boxing at Bizarre on the Bricks at your school."
"Well, ok, I'll give it a try." I said to him
"Great, we have a class tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m., would you like to attend that one?"
"Sure, that sounds good." I told the man.
"Great, we'll see you then."
I hung up the phone, and thought this isn't what I signed up for, but this should be fun. A free kick boxing class sounds great.
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2 comments:
Ok, so first off...I like the way the 2 paragraphs end. It leaves me wanting more! The only thing that I think tripped me up, would've been after the 100 degree weather. I think you should turn the rest of that paragraph into another paragraph. All in all, I really liked the first part and would love to find out what happens next. Good job.
The second sentence in your first paragraph doesn't flow very well. "attending bizarre on the bricks is a great day" --should be revised for the sentence to make sense.
" "That sounded really nice, scribbled my name down on the list along with my phone number." --revise this sentence as well.
take out the last sentence of the first paragraph since you are starting the second with the phone call about the class so it's not as expected.
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