It was a hot summer day in July when I took my Black Lab, whose name is Sweetpea, to the lake to play fetch because I was leaving the next day on a trip. She was behaving well that day, so I decided to get her a treat when I went supply shopping for my trip. Later that day I decided to go to the Dollar General near my house because it was seven miles either way to the next town that had actual stores. I opened the car door and told Sweetpea, "You have to be a good girl if you go." She swung her tail back and forth and hopped right in. I had mud all over me, but I knew I would just get dirty again, so I decided to go the way I was.
When we arrived, three minutes later, I thought,"Please do not let them judge me on appearance." I rolled down the windows for Sweetpea and went inside, knowing that the only people who would bother her were the kids, who came over to pet her and get licked to death. I started shopping for supplies and a treat for her, but was not aware of what was about to happen. There is a woman there who has a very powerful laugh despite her tiny frame. I knew she had company because I could hear her laugh from the back of the almost silent store. The laughter then stopped and the normal, peaceful silence came back over the store.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
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2 comments:
- Place a comma after later that day.
- good, descriptive details throughout
- creative ideas in second paragraph
Consider taking out "..whose name is".
Great start! Really made me want to know what happens next!
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