BFG07blog

What's weird...

2007-11-29T16:25:00.000-05:00

Has anyone noticed that we've already exceeded the number of blog posts from the month of October like 18 times in matter of minutes? No paticipation there.

Who we really R

2007-11-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

Jordan- Lover boy
Cooper- Party animal
Kim- Bookworm
Sarah- Girlscout
Darrin- I'm always right
Spencer - Old man
Emma- Goodie Goodie
Skyla- "oh my God the world and their eating problems"
Whitney - I'm country, deal with it
Natalie- Fat, ugly and no one loves me
Kylie- The quiet warrior
Trevor- The Dude

Mr. Keleher For PRESIDENT

2007-11-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Who is with me when I say Mr. K is the coolest MF'er in the land. This class was not Lit. This class was BA debate and Lit. Do ya feel me. Mr K RULES!!!!!!!!!!! GO DAWGS!!!!.

Reflections

2007-11-29T16:16:00.000-05:00

I thought Spencer would feel better If I wrote one too. I love you guys!! I hope we have a class together next year! (That part was for Jordan) HAGS (Have A Great Spring)...

Uhh...

2007-11-29T16:06:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else feel like they're writing in yearbooks? Just wondering.

Participation by Spencer

2007-11-29T16:01:00.000-05:00

I feel like, for better or worse, I was an active part in this class. Rarely did i keep my mouth shut about anything, and I enjoyed the lively discussions that we seemed to have during nearly every class. I was absent a couple of days, but did well on the quizzes. But, as far as disruptions or distractions go, I can't really say that I'm a master at keeping my attention from jumping to alternate topics, so I wouldn't be surprised if this part of my participation grade didn't show a small dent.

grade for participation

2007-11-29T15:56:00.000-05:00

I think that the grade I deserve for participation is 85%

1. Discussion in Class:
I was not an active participant in the discussions in class, but most of the time I contributed with some sort of input such as an opinion, comment or question.

2. Attendance:
I am almost sure that my attendance for this class was perfect. If I missed it might have been only once but I don't recall missing any classes.

3. Quiz Grades:
My quiz grades were a 90% and a 40%, that would average out to a 65%.

4. Distruptive/ Distracted:
I was only distruptive once and it was something minimal, I don't think the teacher was bothered. If I'm distracted it is only something momentaneous because I tend to be very focused in this class.

Trevors Participation

2007-11-29T15:49:00.000-05:00

1) Everyone knows that Darrin and I are not shy about speaking our minds. Because of this we have had many debates over the discussions in class. Most of the time we are like ying and yang but we have agreed on some issues. I do believe that we have attributed more than our share to the class.
2) Due to the fact that I have not missed a day (that's right gang Big Dow has perfect attendence) I believe that I have meet the attendence requirements. I would like to thank my mom for this. She was the one to get my lazzy butt out of bed all of those days. She is a true Dow
3) My quiz average is 97.5 . I hope my grade in the class is that high. I would like to thank my mother for this as well. She also made me study instead of enjoying college life.
4) I have only had a few loud outbursts during heated discussions. I try to keep quiet during reading or learning time. I hope I never distracted anyone from their work but if I did, I am sorry. Please do not appologize to me, I have distracted many people in the past. Do not be ashamed, You are only human

Reflection

2007-11-29T15:47:00.000-05:00

I think I can honestly say that I enjoyed this class. That statement can only stand by itself because of my previous dislike for all classes in which "literature" or "composition" was inclulded somewhere in the course title. I feel like not only did I learn about my writing, but I learned about different the different styles of persuasion, and how to recognize them.

PARTICIPATION GRADE

2007-11-29T15:45:00.003-05:00

I believe that I deserve a 98 for my participation grade. It would be a 99.9, but I did miss a few classes. I have voiced my opinion on all issues discussed in this class even if nobody else agreed with my belief. I was willing to help people if they needed my help and I put effort into my work.

Emma's Participation

2007-11-29T15:45:00.002-05:00

I think that i participated quite a good bit in this class. I feel like i added to the discussions and expressed what i thought or asked questions during them to verify things. I feel like i really tried to take part during the discussions. While sometimes i was a little quiet because i wasnt really sure what i wanted to say, other times i said what was on my mind.

I also attended every single class. I never even skipped one single class. I made a point to be early or at least on time and i always waited until class was dismissed to leave. ((Except for today, i have to leave 15 min. early because i have to go to work)).

I also completed all of the quizzes and im almost positive i did well on all of them except for maybe, possibly one quiz.

I really wasnt disruptive during class. I mean sure i may have said a few words to someone sitting next to me, but i mean no one is perfect and everyone talks during class at some point in time. The only exception to this is that one time i was doodling on a sheet of paper and i wrote a few sentences to Alllie and mr. keleher asked me not to do that anymore, and after that i really really tried to be on my best behavior during this class. I feel like after that incident i really did do better.

Overall i feel like i should get a low to mid A in this class for the participation part.

Participation & Me!

2007-11-29T15:45:00.001-05:00

Grade: A+
Why:
I believe I deserve this high participation score because of my obvious interest in our discussions. I always participate in class and enjoy debating controversial ideas. I feel I am someone that is heard every class period. On top of that I have been to EVERY class. I may have been tardy once or twice, but it was not on purpose! Regarding quiz grades, I scored accordingly with the work I did. I believe there was one quiz I absolutely BOMBED because I legitimately forgot to do the reading assignment. Overall I did fairly well on quiz grades. Now on the topic of being disruptive or distracted in class...I plead guilty! Only because I truly enjoy spending time with this learning community! I blame any deductions from my participation grade on Kim! I had to read a note she passed me!! : )

Darrin's participation

2007-11-29T15:44:00.000-05:00

I believe that at the beginning of the semester (the first 2-3 days) i was not properly participating in class. I was not used to the setup of a colledge course but i quickly caught on. I believe that after a ruff start i began to flow well with this class. I speak in the discussions and am often one of the only ones. I did have a few absences but nothing that would take away from my learning experience. My quiz grades were all very good (maybe one bad one in there). I might have been a little disruptive but i believe i contributed much more than I took away. This class has been very enjoyable and I believe i have put forward A-B work.

My Participation Grade

2007-11-29T15:43:00.001-05:00

Normally, in all of ENGL 1101 classes, I was quiet during class. I hardly participated in discussions. That's because I'm more of a science person and don't have a huge interest for language arts subjects. However, I did speak and articulate whenever I was told to. I definitely attended all classes and never missed a single one. During class, I was an attentive listener and never disrupted lectures or held chit-chats with colleagues. My quiz grades were satisfactory, one high, one low, so eventually they averaged to a satisfactory average. I did turn in all my work on time, took the opportunity of repeating drafts, and posted blogs whenever required. According to this self-description, I honestly believe I deserve a 16 or 17 out of 20.

My Participation...

2007-11-29T15:43:00.000-05:00

Alright, so when it comes to participation in this class, I think I'm in the middle of the class. I don't speak out loud much, that's just not me. Throughout the sememester I have tried to participate in many of the discussions we've had as I could. Sometimes I didn't have anything to say though. I missed class 2 times, due to laziness probably, I really can't remember. My quiz grades are looking pretty nice. I NEVER was disruptive or distracted. Overall, I liked this class, and I think I deserve an A or a high B for my participation grade. The End. :)

Participation

2007-11-29T15:42:00.001-05:00

I think that my participation grade should be an A. I call out answers to questions in class and participate in discussions if I feel like I have something important to say. I have come to every class that was required of me. I complete the reading assignments and my quiz grades reflect that; I usually get all the answers correct. I think I missed one on the Antigone quiz. I'm not disruptive or talkative during class, but the people that ARE chatty really distract me. When people are talking to each other during class, I have trouble concentrating or reading things. I've been on the computer on a webpage when we weren't supposed to be surfing, and once, instead of talking, I wrote a note to Sarah.

Ayshia's Participation In Class

2007-11-29T15:42:00.000-05:00

I think that my participation grade should be an A or B because my discussion was not that well and my quiz grades were not to well either.

I did not participate in many discussions but my presence was always known in every class that I attended. Although my opinions about the discussions were not voiced, they were thought about carefully in my head and outside of class. The reason that I did not participate in the discussions was because I am a pretty shy person and I don't normally engage in conversation with people I don't normally converse with. I am not a very vocal person in school.

I attended class pretty regularly. I only think that I missed 2 days and one of those day was because I was at the health clinic. I had an excuse but I didn't turn it in because I left it at home.

My quiz grades were not that good.

I don't think that I was very disruptive in class because I was not a very talkative person. I may have made a couple of comments to my peers around me but other than that I was reasonable quite.

Participation Grade

2007-11-29T15:40:00.000-05:00

When we went around the room and where asked to contribute to disscussion I had something to say. I have missed a couple of classes and had a doctors note one time when I was ill. All my quiz grades where passing. I do not think I was ever disruptive/distracted in class except for maybe one time. I think I should probably get an A or B for participation.

2007-11-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

The discussions in class were good...everyone had their own view and arguement to bring to the table. Of course there were many clashing views, and different opinions, but it made the discussions more lively and fun to interact in. As far as my personal discussions in class...I was involved but not as much as others in the class. I did not sit without a voice...but I did not speak up much. I would like to have participated more in the discussions.

I believe my attendance was good, I may have missed one or two class I believe, I was sick for a week. I had no excuse note because it was just a common stomach flu. But, other than that time, I have been at every class.

My quiz grades were decent, but I can not remember all of them, I can not even remember how many we took, I know I missed one because I was out sick.

I may have talked out of turn or over Professor Keleher a time or two, but I have done nothing severely distracting and disruptive to the class. I have always paid attention, never been on the computer doing multiple things, or doing what I was not suppose to. Done the assigments assigned in class promtly and on time.

I believe the grade I deserve for this class would be a mid B grade. I have done alot of participation, and been firly promt in doing assignments in class, and participating in class. But I have been out twice, and missed a quiz. I also did not speak very much in class.

Wow!

2007-11-29T15:03:00.000-05:00

I really had no idea we've posted this much. I guess I haven't look at this blog in forever though...it took me a while to remember my password. This looks good though.

A reflection of my participation in class.

2007-11-29T01:13:00.002-05:00

Throughout this semester I feel that I have learned a lot about the writing process and about my own writing skills as well. From the first essay to the last essay ( the argument paper ) I feel that I have improved greatly. I feel that during in class discussions I am polite and cooperate by giving my input on discussion topics. There may have been a few times where I have spoken out of turn, but I am sure it was not on purpose, but out of eagerness to speak out about the topic. I cannnot recall many days where I was late or decided not to make it to class. One occassion was a Jewish holiday I believe and the other was a day that I got to class and told Mr.Keleher that I had not been feeling well. When it came to the quizzes and blogs, I do not feel I gave 100%, however, I do feel they were very beneficial to this class.

After reflecting on this semester, I feel that I deserve a B for participation. I feel this way because I did not give 100%, but I do not feel as if I chose to do nothing, I really enjoyed this class and cared about how I was going to do.

A reflection of my participation in class.

2007-11-29T01:13:00.001-05:00

Argument essay

2007-11-29T01:13:00.000-05:00

In the newest paper, the argument essay, I reorganized the paragraphs and fixed some puntual and grammatical errors. I ended up placing a a real-life paragraph from my essay as my introductory paragraph for more emphasis and feeling about my topic. Sometimes, reading over the paper multiple times can help you to re-think the organization, because some paragraphs may have stronger points than others and different points altogether, so you must make sure they are placed properly. If the paper flows steadily, along with a strong argument, the reader will most likely want to read it.

whys

2007-11-08T15:46:00.000-05:00

My sentence about people feeling terrible about the overpopulation of dogs was changed because it was too lengthy and wordy.

My tragedy sentence was shortened because it was a lengthy hyperbole. It may not be an actual tragedy!

plan for draft two

2007-11-08T15:44:00.000-05:00

I have decided that I do need to have specific numbers of overpopulations for my paper. I plan on finding statistics and adding them. I will also correct my grammar mistakes.

KNEE JERK

2007-11-08T15:39:00.002-05:00

I expected to better than what I did. I spent alot of time on this paper, but not enough evidentally.

Argument Essay Blog

2007-11-08T15:34:00.001-05:00

Knee Jerk Response

After I looked at my corrected essay, I felt surprised. I wasn't expecting the grade I got since the students who corrected my paper before gave me really low grades. However, the changes I made after that might have influenced in the improvement of my grade. I feel that my argument is well supported and that I have improved since I made less passive voice mistakes, and run on sentences mistakes.

Plan for 2nd Draft

My plan for the second draft is to correct my MLA errors. As well, I will look over my paper and get rid of the wordiness without changing the actual content.

WHY's

Dr. Keleher sugested me not to include the example of the pharmacist who refused to sell birth control pills to a woman in Winsconsin. I think this is because even though the example is relevant to the topic of the paper, the focus of my paper since to be the African situation and to include an example from Winsconsin may seem out of place and even unnecessary.

Argument paper blog

2007-11-08T15:34:00.000-05:00

Knee Jerk Response

My first response was that I expected several minor errors. I wasn't that surprised, I'm pretty happy about the grade I received.

Plan for 2nd draft

fix all errors pointed out to me on the paper
use more of a variety of words to begin sentences
make it sound less listy
add my own commentary to the paper maybe with personal examples
combine several of my citations together
change in paper citations to only 2-3 words

The "Why's"

Imagine legalizing marijuana and in the next five years the usage will quadruple. This would lead to higher drop out rates at school, higher unemployment, and health care would be burdened by many more people, which would then lead to increased cost of healthcare benefits to the unemployed which would come out of our taxes.
If we legalized marijuana, in the next five years, the usage might quadruple. This would lead to higher drop out rates at school, higher unemployment and health care costs.

You asked 'why the change?' because I already said the last sentence in the beginning of my paper, so readers already know that.

Knee-Jerk Reaction and Plan for Draft Two

2007-11-08T15:33:00.000-05:00

Knee-Jerk
My response to my grade and comments where overall expected. I thought I had a good idea and organized the paper well but knew that there were things I could add more to, but did not really know what exactly to write. The idea to add more specific organizations seems to be what I was missing. Also, you pointed out that my factual paragraph was listy, and I will brainstorm on how to make it flow better.

Plan for Draft Two
My first paragraph I will only revise one sentence becuase the comment "good start" was written- and that was surprising because I struggle with strong introductions. The second paragraph can be fixed by taking out some words to make it less wordy and to clean up the meaning by rereading it and making more sense about what I am trying to convey. The thrid was a "good point"-so I'll leave that one alone. Forth needs a better word for obsession. Fith was the factual, listy paragraph. Need to add transitions. Sixth needs to be more specific about when the Bush Administration requested more funding for military use. Also, I'll take out a comma I threw in. Inflated is also a better word for unnessary, and budget better than bill. Again, in the last paragraph, abroad is better than foreign- add in a "would" and a "more" to make more sense of last sentence.

Passive/Active Voice

2007-11-06T23:59:00.000-05:00

I looked for some things to change and I couldn't really find anything. I hope that is okay. I guess we will see when my paper is graded. Haha

-Emma Pickle-

Passive/Active Voice

2007-11-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

I think I fixed some passive voice and made them more active...

Before:
Imagine what the United States government could do for the people with the money that they spend on weapons.

After:
Imagine what the United States government can do for the people with money spent on weapons.

Before:
A long needed national health plan could be introduced.

After:
A long needed national health plan can be introduced.

Before:
...people in the country could benefit from the u.s.

After:
...people in the country benefit from the u.s.

Passive and Active Voice

2007-11-06T21:43:00.000-05:00

Before:
These are words heard by many child slaves in America today.

After:
Many child slaves hear these words in America today.

2007-11-06T21:24:00.001-05:00

Ok so i attempted to fix my passive sentences and make them active so here are the corrected ones :

Original: In our society today, gay marriage is considered an abomination; a sin against God, but for a gay couple to adopt a child would be down right insane.
Corrected: In our society, gay marriage is an abomination; a sin against God, but for a gay couple to adopt a child is down right insane.

Original: Many parents this day and age have become lazy in the aspects of raising their offspring.
Corrected: Many parents this day and age are lazy in the aspects of raising their offspring.

Original: Adding on to the lack of manners and social conduct is the fact that these kids have been taught what is “supposedly” socially wrong and volatile; including the act of being homosexual.
Corrected: Adding on to the lack of manners and social conduct is the fact that these kids are taught what is “supposedly” socially wrong and volatile; including the act of being homosexual.

Original: Studies have shown that most of the children raised by gay parents have been healthier and happier in both everyday and home life.
Corrected: Studies show that most of the children raised by gay parents have been healthier and happier in both everyday and home life.

Original: These children are heterosexuals and have not been affected by their parent situation.
Corrected: These children are heterosexuals having not been affected by their parent situation.

Hope i did it right thanks!

Passive/Active

2007-11-06T19:32:00.000-05:00

I could only find one!!
BEFORE
As strict as this may sound, it would be a good solution to the fatality rate for teen drivers.
AFTER
As strict as this may sound, it is a good solution to the fatality rate for teen drivers.

passive voice

2007-11-06T17:28:00.000-05:00

before

Contraception is known for preventing pregnancies as well as sexually transmitted diseases. In spite of this, the Catholic population is warned against the use of contraception, even between married couples, since it is said to interfere with the plans God has chosen for the future.

after

Contraception prevents pregnancies as well as sexually transmitted diseases. In spite of this, the Catholic population warns against the use of contraception, even between married couples, since it interferes with the plans God has for the future.

before

Nevertheless, the Catholic Church seems to ignore the frightening reality of AIDS and how it is spread, which is mainly through unprotected sex.

after

Nevertheless, the Catholic Church seems to ignore the frightening reality of AIDS and how it is spread, mainly through unprotected sex.

Handbook post

2007-10-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

Active voice: The subject carries out the action that is expressed in the verb.
Passive voice: Occurs when the object of an action is made into the subject of a sentence.

Passive and Active voice: There are not always pleasant people, nor is the weather always beautiful.
- The people and the weather makes it active voice

3's the charm :)

2007-10-04T22:42:00.000-04:00

As I was writing the first paper, there were many things I had not noticed, such as comma splices and other errors. While writing my second paper, I felt much more comfortable and was able to notice when I was making mistakes more frequently. As I was writing the third draft, I noticed my story had become a little more interesting. I had not had as many grammatical errors or comma splices. I feel much more comfortable now.

Thoughts

2007-09-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

I have had PLENTY of time to think on my paper over the past week. It was a relief to turn it in. I've been thinking about how I could switch perspective for a third paper and I'm not sure what to do. I could make the whole story from Susan's perspective looking in on a huge family. I don't know if it would still be a profile paper though. WE'll just have to see what kind of grade I get on the second draft...

Reflection post.

2007-09-21T10:06:00.000-04:00

My paper changed in such a way that will make it more enjoyable. I tried to cut out a lot of the repetitiveness and extra detail that bogged down my writing. I think it is a much better paper and i'm anxious to see what i will recieve on it or what comments i might get back. This experience has helped pay attention to how I tend to repeat myself at tiems and add unnecessary details. I think overall, it has helped me a lot.

reflection

2007-09-20T22:45:00.000-04:00

I changed alot in my profile, but I mostly shortened sentences and paragraphs. I believe it is a far more impressive paper than it was before my revisions. I will try to keep my next composition compacted.

Reflection

2007-09-20T22:33:00.000-04:00

During the revision I tried to shorten my paragraphs so that I could get to the race quicker and changed all of my verbs to present tense. Also, during the revision I had a parallelism problem that I know how to fix now. I feel that my paper is better, hopefully. I added more names to it and explained things more thoroughly. All in all, I think it is a better profile of the Neshoba County Fair than the first draft was. In the future I'll be able to spot parallelism problems better and I'll be able to keep in the same tense throughout the whole paper easier. I never really was good at staying in the same tense until now, thanks to this paper. Hopefully my future papers will be easier to right and come out better than this one. =)

hyperboles

2007-09-20T22:32:00.000-04:00

A hyperbole is a type of language that over exaggerates a comparison of two things. "I almost died laughing" is a very commonly used hyperbole. Many people confuse hyperboles with similes and metaphors because it often compares to things, but hyperboles are not realistic comparisans.
I over used hyperboles in my first draft like when I wrote that the kids got licked to death. I changed the sentence to something like, the kids wanted to pet her and get licked by her long pink tongue.

docucam post

2007-09-20T22:30:00.000-04:00

I learned that nobody is going to laugh at you if you try your best. I also learned that peer review is not always a bad thing. I like the fact that the session only had six people because i get nervous in big crowds.

regrouping

2007-09-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to

not put quataions around thoughts
make sure that I always capitalize the word I
keep it simple by compressing sentences
compress paragraphs
proof read better

I need to remember not to

use run on sentences
use too many hyperboles
go comma crazy
over think
rush

KNEE-JERK REACTION

2007-09-20T22:14:00.000-04:00

I was surprised with the result of my profile. I thought it would butchered because it was a simple profile, but I am glad to see that simple can be just as good as complex.

ANNA'S REFLECTION

2007-09-20T20:46:00.000-04:00

I feel much more confident in this second draft than I felt in my first draft. I liked both of my drafts, but I feel that this second one has a better flow and direction. It is easier to read and not stagger through my sentences, as opposed to what happened in my first draft. As well, I got rid of some poetic-like senteces that seemed out of place. Other changes I made were that I added more relevant and what to me are interesting experiences and thoughts and explained better what seemed confusing. I think that leaving my paper unseen for a while helped me view my mistakes more easily, since I wasn't attatched emotionally anymore to anything that I had written.

Reflection

2007-09-20T17:29:00.000-04:00

My draft that I turned in this morning I thought improved by stating many of my thoughts more clearly. I was able to do this by elmininating unnessary words. I feel that the paper flows much better with some simple changes that were made. This will effect my future papers and my writing in general by anaylzing words that are in my sentences. Before, I had never really even been told to address the problem of wordiness. Even if I do use words that do not add to meaningful thoughts, I will be able to look for that when revising my work the first time.

Wordiness Post

2007-09-19T18:26:00.000-04:00

Wordiness is caused when you pad your writing with empty phrases or when struggling to clarify ideas.
You can eliminate wordiness in your writing if you mark sections of your writing that you struggled to produce. But after you're done with your draft, pass through your paper once, focusing only on eliminating unnecessary language. Pay particular attention to sections you struggled to get out.
Learn what wordiness patterns are typical of your writing. Most people tend to fall into two or three patterns of wordiness when they write. Learn what your patterns are, and edit with those patterns in mind.

ex. (wordy) It is expensive to upgrade computer systems.
(consice) Upgrading computer systems is expensive.

(wordy) Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols. This has lessened the ozone layer's depletion.
(concise) Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols, lessening the ozone layer's depletion.

Proflie Examples
(wordy) Greg also jokes about a man named Bill that comes everyday that will sit for a while reading the paper.
(concise) Greg also jokes about a man named Bill that comes everyday and reads the paper.

(wordy) The Shell sees many different people that lead very different lives, but for some reason it is a place where they all...
(concise) The Shell sees many different people that lead very different lives but....

Reflect

2007-09-19T18:21:00.000-04:00

I just realized I didn't change the date on my paper before I turned it in. It's sort of driving me crazy.
After changing the things that where written in blue on my first draft, I actually removed some of the things that I fixed. I think this draft is a real upgrade from my other draft. I feel pretty good about it, but I know it could be better. I was very tired when I turned it in, and I knew if I worked on it, I would only make it worse. I know it is better than my first, so I'm sure I'll be getting a better grade.
I fixed some of the descriptions to move at a quicker pace by removing excess detail. In some places, I added more details where there was none. I also put in some information about the place that I had left out in the first draft.
I think my next paper will be a major improvement because this was the first I've written since high school and it was kind of like a warm up exercise.

Docucam Post

2007-09-19T16:50:00.000-04:00

Ok so i just looked over the previous posts and i realized that i did not post a docucam post. For some strang reason i thought that i had posted it. I realize that it is a day late and i apologize for that. But i am still going to post it just in case you decide to take it Professor Keleher. If you decide that you will not accept this post I completely understand or if you decide to deduct a few points for it just being late I understand. Again I apologize but for some strand reason I was under the impression that I had posted it already.

Docucam Post: During the docucam session I learned a great deal. I learned that I should explain things more clearly to the reader becaue sometimes the reader may not understand what I am talking about. I also learned how to fix comma splices. I remember learning about comma splices in high school, but I guess during the summer my brain "dried" up and forgot a lot of things that I had previously learned. I also got to see some examples of how to write a "well written" sentence. I was able to see some examples of this through other students' work. It defiantely gave me some ideas of how to form some of my sentences. I feel like through the docucam session, I got some great tips on writing.

Reflection

2007-09-19T16:45:00.000-04:00

Ok, so i emailed my essay yesterday and my paper didn't change too drastically. My paper ended up being an entire page longer this draft than my previous one. I felt like my paper as a whole was a lot better. It explained things more clearly like the peanut butter part. I think that i learned alot more about writing through this paper than any previous papers I have written in the past. I learned how to grab the readers attention better. This paper definately improved my writing somewhat.

Docucam Post

2007-09-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

I loved the docucam session! i loved being able to read everyones paper and making my on comments and thoughts about each indivdual one. i also loved the feedback i received from my classmates and i know it will help me write a better a paper for sure! It's always interesting to see or your friends react to things you write and i found it very interesting that they liked my paper but thats a good thing!

Regrouping post

2007-09-19T14:34:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:
1. Work on thinking up a new story to put in my paper, to decrease the repetitiveness.
2. take out a lot of my hyperboles
3. Make it flow better
4. Add a little more emotion to it
5. Make it more personable

I need to remember NOT to do:
1. Keep it lengthy and wordy
2. exaggerate to much or add too much description
3. REPEAT MYSELF!

My "Knee-Jerk Reaction"

2007-09-19T14:28:00.000-04:00

Personally i think that all the comments that were left on my paper were left there for a reason. I definitly agree with most of them. Reading through my paper again, i did notice a lot of repetition and i'll be sure to go through and fiz that so my paper flows a little better. I was actually suprised not to get that many commets on my description becasue i was afraid that i had to much, but i guess it turned out just right. I'm very happy with the results of my paper and i'm ready to make it even better!

Anna's handbook post

2007-09-19T11:43:00.000-04:00

Comma Splices

A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses are joined by a comma without using a conjunction. In the handbook, there are no specific examples of comma splices, however, I can provide several directly from my essay.

ex 1:

We sat by one of the trees, the light slithered through the leaves and branches. (error)
We sat by one of the trees. The light slithered through the leaves and branches. (correction)

Since there was no conjunction between the two independent clauses, a period was the most appropriate punctuation to be used.

ex 2:

Inevitably, we all found ourselves amused by a high pitched bird-like sound, yet this was not a bird, it was a flute. (error)

Inevitably, we all found ourselves amused by a high pitched bird-like sound, yet this was not a bird, but a flute. (correction)

The third comma in the error sentence is an example of a comma splice, since there is no particular conjunction to connect one idea with the other. Therefore, in the second sentence this error was corrected by applying a conjunction.

ex 3:

The buildings around each side of the park were now unseen, the intensity of the colors overpowered them. (error)

The buildings around each side of the park were now unseen. The intensity of the colors overpowered them. (correction)

ex 4:

She said that the bottle could be used as a maraca, as she moved it gently, it made a sound similar to that instrument.(error)

She said that the bottle could be used as a maraca. As she moved it gently, it made a sound similar to that instrument. (correction)

Docucam Summary

2007-09-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

The docucam summary was very helpful. I learned not to hold out on important information such as names of people and places. I also learned that its okay to have detail and description but to not have too much of it. The docucam thought me a lot and I will try to remember everything in future essays.

Regrouping

2007-09-18T22:23:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:

place paragraphs where they need to be
stay in the same tense
place quotations where they belong
italize all thoughts

I need to remember not to:

repeat similar words
be so wordy

Wow what a surprise!

2007-09-18T22:18:00.000-04:00

Wow I was really surprised! I didn't expect the reaction I received. I believe everything you said about my paper was correct. I'm content with my grade, but my plan is to raise it up.

Anna's Docucam post

2007-09-18T21:05:00.000-04:00

I consider that my docucam experience was very helpful. Through it, I learned what were the mayor errors in my essay, as well as in the other student's essay, meaning now I can avoid them in my future assignments. As well, I could see the students' response to my essay as a whole, and realized it was a worthwhile reading for them. Also, I liked reading through the other essays, looking for strong entences and weak sentences, to help the other students into getting an idea of what they should improve and what they should leave as it is.

Anna's regrouping

2007-09-18T20:54:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:

check for comma splices and avoid them.
give names to the places and things I am describing
use an active voice
make sure all parragraphs connect in a coherent manner
check my word tense

I need to remember not to:

give unnecessary information
have run-on sentences
use hyperboles
use "greeting card" descriptions

Spencer - 1st Profile Reflection

2007-09-18T20:32:00.000-04:00

After handing in the second draft of my profile essay I felt I had actually learned quite a lot about my writing. This was the first time I ever honestly put effort into revising a first draft, and I believe it paid off. I feel that the paper is better, and reads much more cleanly than before, but I still feel that the couple of problem areas aren't perfect. If it can be said that the first draft erred too much on the side of creative overstatement, I worry that this draft might fall to flat.

Spencer - 1st Profile Docucam

2007-09-18T20:25:00.000-04:00

My docucam session was rather brief, as I was the last essay disscussed on the first day. The only thing that I truely learned was that I had achieved the humor I had aimed for in my "BBQ Giants" reference. But, unfortuneately, it didn't quite read correctly, and I'm not sure if it was really an appropriate direction to take the essay.

Handbook post

2007-09-18T20:18:00.000-04:00

Parallelism means to make sure that you use the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have the same level of importance.
Example:

Wrong:The quarter horse skipped, pranced, and was sashaying onto the track.
Correct: The quarter horse skipped, pranced, and sashayed onto the track.

Example from my paper

Wrong:'...says Uncle Donny who is wearing overalls and a wife beater and is also,easily, 6 inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier than my dad'
Correct?:'...says Uncle Donny who is wearing a pair of overalls and a wife beater and is also a few inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier than my dad.'

Capitalization is basically what it sounds like. You're supposed to correctly capitalize the first letter of the first word in every sentence and also proper names and proper adjectives.
Examples:

Pacific Ocean
an ocean
Africa, African sculpture
a beautiful sculpture
Elm Street
a street

Example from my paper:

Wrong: 'In this diminutive County of Mississippi...'
Correct: ' In this diminutive county of Mississippi...'
Wrong: 'A must is going to see the Beauty Pageant on the second night of the fair.'
Correct: ' A must is going to see the beauty pageant on the second night of the fair.'

Docucam post

2007-09-18T20:06:00.000-04:00

I learned not to use hyperboles, which are basically over exaggerating things in the essays. I learned to use active language, make it actually doing something instead of using a passive voice. I also learned to use correct verbs.For example in my papaper I said '...that's about all that concerts have.' Concerts can't have anything so I need to find a different verb to use.

Regrouping

2007-09-18T19:59:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:

Get to the race faster in my paper

Develop some of my paragraphs better

I need to remember not to:

Capitalize in the wrong places
Use a passive voice
Chance from present to past tense

Knee-jerk Reaction

2007-09-18T19:55:00.000-04:00

I'm a little surprised that I didn't get a higher grade, but not that much higher but I understand why I got what I got. I'm not in complete shock. I have a lot to do now so I'm going to get started. =)

Spencer - 1st Profile Regrouping

2007-09-18T19:43:00.000-04:00

I have decided that I can focus on a couple of the specific areas in my essay and improve the paper for the next draft.

I need to remember to

Make sure that all areas read well and make sense as a coherent thought
Realize that if it feels like I'm stretching something, I probably am.

I need to remember not to

Use comma's in sentences with one 'subject' (not compound)
Try to force anything

Spencer - 1st Profile kneejerk

2007-09-18T19:30:00.000-04:00

My initial reaction to the graded first draft of my profile essay was really quite mixed. I was happy with the grade, and I had expected to have a significant number of grammatical errors, but I was suprised at the few focused areas of comment. There were three specific sections of the essay that I felt I had really stretched to come up with what I thought was some good work, and these were the three areas that had attracted the most blue ink. But, like I said, I had definately "stretched", and I had felt that while I was writing.

Handbook Entry #2

2007-09-18T18:20:00.000-04:00

Conciseness
Making your point in the fewest possible words. Eliminate repeat words.
Example from the book:
Original: Her constant and continual use of vulgar expressions with obscene meanings indicated to her pre-elementary supervisory group that she was rather deficient in terms of her ability to interact manner with peers in her potential interaction group.
Revised: Her constant use of four-letter words told the day-care workers she might have trouble getting along with other four-year olds.
Example from my paper:
Original: Mathew is the oldest O'Brian and he was also the first to marry.
Revised: Mathew is the oldest and the first to marry.

Trevor Dow

2007-09-18T14:16:00.000-04:00

1)My paper was not what I expected. I thought I did alot better. When I looked over the corrections I noticed that I had made a lot of mistakes.

2) I need to remember to
1 check my spelling
2 check my word tense
3 read my paper out loud
4 keep it short and sweet

I need to remember not to
1 use comma splices
2 use semi colons when they are not needed
3 use very descriptive language

3) I learned how to get my self over my comma splice problem. I also learned to comprese my paper into what I need and not to put alot of extras.

2007-09-18T12:48:00.000-04:00

Darrin Rountree

1. I turned in my paper knowing it was a strong one. I was expecting to see many of the comments which i did. I was hoping for the grade which i received.

2. I need to remember to:

read my paper out loud so i can catch my simple mistakes
look over my paragraphing
double check my spelling and punctuation

I need to remember not to:

rush my endings.
use c/s in my duologue
use elaborate discription

3. I learned that I can describe things without over elaborating things. I really enjoyed looking to see what writing levels some of my class mates were at. I learned that I have to be careful with comoma slices because it could drasticaly lower my grade

2007-09-18T12:28:00.001-04:00

1. I knew there would be a good bit or mistakes. I had no time to get someone to proof it. The comments were good I believe they will make my paper much better. I am feeling that my paper will be much better now.

2. I need to remember to:

Paragraph things correctly
start off strong
be careful with my word choices

I need to remeber not to:

Use comma splice
Use repetition
Use comma splices in dialogue. Dialogue flows faster.

3. Dialogue flows faster.

5. My paper should now have no more comma splices. I feel that it is much better then when I first handed it in. I fixed many of the mistakes and edited some other things. In later writings I will know to look out for comma splices and repetitions.

Knee-Jerk Reaction

2007-09-18T01:35:00.000-04:00

I realize that i have alot to work on in my paper. I look forward to the end product and to be able to see how much my paper has changed and how much better it actually is. I knew when i turned this paper in that I it would have some errors, every paper does. I was proud of the grade i got, especially since it was my first draft that was actually submitted. I really hope that i am able to fix my paper the way professor keleher wants it to be, and hopefully receive an A the next time around. Also Professor Keleher had some really good points. He said that i should explain "peanut butter". While i was writing my paper i guess i felt that the reader didnt need to know exactly what it was. But once i do explain what it is, the paragraph makes much more sense.

Comma splices and Parallelism...OH MY! ;)

2007-09-17T22:32:00.000-04:00

As pointed out in my paper, I had some issues with comma splices and parallelism.

A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses are joined by a comma with no conjunction.
EX: It is nearly half past five, we cannot reach town before dark.
A way to correct the problem could be to change the comma to a semicolon, or write the two clauses as two seperate sentences.

Parallelism occurs when there is a similarity of structure in a pair or series of related words, phrases, or clauses.
EX: She tried to make her pastry fluffy, sweet, and delicate.

Docucam

2007-09-17T16:16:00.000-04:00

From the session, I learned that strong introductions are very effective, but hard to come by. Interresting dialouge really adds life to a paper. Details that really tie into your point are very effective. Wordiness makes the paper less interesting and hard to read/get through. Paying close attention to not repeating the same idea is very important. It is important to stick to your topic and completely focus on it, not any other ideas you can lead off on. Cliches in papers are never good.

Regrouping

2007-09-17T16:12:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:
-stay in the same tense
-switch between pronouns and names

I need to remember not to:
-Sound cliched
-Be wordie
-Use prepositional phrases that do not move the paper along

Kylie's Knee-Jerk Reaction

2007-09-17T16:04:00.000-04:00

As I first look over the graded draft, I see that I am still having problems with verb tense and wordiness. I was glad to see that I did not have any "major" sentence structure errors. I did not know that it was so important to switch between names and personal pronouns, but that's easy to fix. Also, no entire sections where crossed out and that is good. Overall I think my grade was fitting for my first draft.

Anna's knee-jerk reaction

2007-09-16T22:41:00.000-04:00

As I look over the insights Mr. Keleher wrote on my paper, I don't feel at all impressed nor surprised. This was my first college essay writing and I wasn't sure if it was what I was expected to make. Anyhow, I was quite confident that it was done correctly. I feel quite happy with the outcome since I don't have to make any mayor changes, which was my worse fear. Sometimes I sympathize with my writing and feel reluctant when I have to let go. As well, I feel that the comments are very appropriate and I'm looking forward to consider them and make the necessary improvements.

Amanda's Paper

2007-09-16T04:25:00.000-04:00

Well I wish this paper outcome had a been smoother. I am disappointed with the the ways things have started. As for the paper, I shortened my sentences. I also took out many unecessary punctuations that were found in the paper. I am looking forward to my writing style to improve. I need to start doing more proofreading with papers. My sentence structure is better with the final draft, I just wish I had double checked many key factors that I needed for the paper. Everything should get better. The group classes will be a big help.

Handbook: Comma Splice

2007-09-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

Rule Summary:
A comma splice is caused by two independent clauses being connected with a comma without a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so).
EX: Gestures are a means of communication for everyone, they are essential for the hearing-impaired.

Sometimes, the clauses are connected with a word that isn't a conjunction.
EX: Gestures are a means of communication for everyone, however, they are essential for the hearing-impaired.

to fix these, you can join the sentences with a coordinating conjunction, join them with a semi-colon, make the clauses separate sentences, or restructure the sentence.

Examples from my paper:
When we get off the bus and walk over, I notice that the building isn’t made of brick or marble, the walls are just painted to look that way.
------ I substituted the comma for a semi-colon.
When we get off the bus and walk over, I notice that the building isn’t made of brick or marble; the walls are just painted to look that way.

“They’re not,” he says and points over my shoulder, “they’re pointing at The Beatles.”
------ I made the two clauses separate sentences.
“They’re not,” he says and points over my shoulder. “They’re pointing at The Beatles.”

Docucam

2007-09-15T23:51:00.001-04:00

I learned how much descriptive was expected. During past classes, it was confusing, but now that I've seen how much more is needed in the paper I have already written, I feel a lot better about describing a lot more in my essay.

Mr. Keleher also mentioned that I did a good job describing the city my profiled place is in. I put it in because the area is a desert, and I wanted to set the scene. I think you might see the place differently if you think of it in a city in Georgia than where it is.

Regrouping

2007-09-14T00:01:00.000-04:00

In my next draft, I need to pay attention to where I'm sticking my commas. I need to make sure I keep a consistent pace when I'm being descriptive, but I can be more descriptive in some areas while keeping the pace I have set. Like many of us, I need to make sure I don't fall into past tense.

knee jerk

2007-09-13T23:55:00.000-04:00

when I first saw my paper, I was really nervous about all the handwritten notes all over it. After reading most of them, it wasn't so intimidating. I was shocked to see that I had two comma splices and one miss-use of a comma. I was really good with commas in high school. I suppose I just forgot in the past two years. I really appreciate the notes, because now I know how much my paper sucks and how I can make it so much better than it currently is. Er...as of TUESDAY because I've been working on it VERY HARD.

Emma's first post on her paper :)

2007-09-13T17:46:00.000-04:00

Ok in my paper i need to explain to the reader what peanut butter specifically means. I also listed all of the activities that camp skyline has to offer, Professor Keleher suggested that I eliminate some from the list. I don't need to list every single one in order to get the point across that there are various activites. Also, i was sort of vague when i said, " I have seen and experienced many different things at camp." I probably should elaborate and tell the reader some of these things. Also I need to avoid repetitive diction/ structure. An example of this repetitve diction/ structure is: "The impact that camp makes on a person is remarkable. The impact that camp has had on me is one tht is hard for me to express in words." I think that I should find some other words that basically mean the same thing. I need to avoid 2nd person in the sentence in my last paragraph that says "One thing is for sure, once you do experience it, it will become a memory that is etched in you mind, as it is in mine. That is the last sentence in my entire paper. I need to reword it a little big because it sort of drags. Also the sentence ends the paper very abruptly and i should work on a better conclusion backing up my thesis. Another thing I should work on is comma splices. In the sentence "Camp Skyline is an all girls camp, consequently, we run into situations like this all of th time." Instead i should say, "Camp Skyline is an all girls camp. We run into situations like this all of the time." I also do not need to put quotations around certain words that are not spoken by a specific person. And finally i need to work on my commas.

Professor Keleher, I was a little confused with what i should post on here. If this is unacceptable please let me know through a comment or email what i should do. Please don't give me a zero for this blog. I will definatly fix it if i did this wrong.

Reflection

2007-09-11T22:41:00.000-04:00

My paper didn't change drastically. I kept the first part concerning the visitor's perspective and experience of the Sundial, only deleting and adding ideas. I broadened my father's perspective and experiences in a way to create a clear contrast between the two points of view. I did include a tragic incident that happened at the Sundial; I just hope it's in its accurate place. I do feel better about my paper now since tension has been created. I improved my paragraphs' organizations and I think that has made the paper more instructive. I hope I can make the A this time. This experience mainly taught me to understand the topic thorougly through discussions with the proffessor and classmates and through readings. As the year proceeds and after my first regrettable disaster, I look forward to enhancing my writing skills more and more.

Handbook

2007-09-11T22:07:00.000-04:00

THESIS
The first step in developing an essay is to formulate a strong, clear thesis. A thesis is the statement in which the writer takes a position on an issue. A thesis has the following traits: is debatable, can be supported with evidence, is a clearly stated fact, and is not based on personal opinion. I have to try to shape my thesis, so it can become an expression of my own point of view.

WORDINESS
Editing for wordiness:

Look for unnecessary or redundant words. > Her constant and continual use of vulgar expressions with obscene meanings indicated to her pre-elementary supervisory group that she was rather deficient in terms of her ability to interact in an efficient manner with peers in her potential interaction group. > Her constant use of four-letter words told the day-care workers she n ight have trouble getting along with other four-year olds.
Take out empty words - words like aspect or factor, definitely or very
Replace wordy phrases with a single word. Instead of because of the fact that, try because.
Reconsider any sentences that begin with it is or there is/are.
Simplify sentence structure by using strong verbs and using the active voice. > In Gower's research, it was found that pythons often dwell in trees. > Gower found that pythons often dwell in trees.

Examples from my essay:

The shimmering lights are such a staggering view at night.
The shimmering lights are staggering.
Eye-catching scenery, a scenic elevator
Eye-catching scenery, a glass elevator

Docucam

2007-09-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

The docucam session was somehow beneficial. I learned that my major problem was that I was missing a main component in my essay which was tension. I needed to create it by writing from a certain perspective or perspectives. I might want to add a few more examples to enhance my writing style too. I will surely try to write on the idea Mr. Keleher provided me with. In fact, I had this idea on my mind earlier on, just didn't proceed with it! Too bad!

Regrouping

2007-09-11T21:41:00.002-04:00

On my final draft, I need to remember to:

- focus on my strongest paragraph and broaden its ideas

- fix my paragraph transition issues in a way that the paragraphs flow well

- create something novel that will build up tension throughout the article

- avoid using too many repetitive sounds/words

On the other hand, I need to remember not to:

- use ornamental language that makes the essay sound dramatic

- use the expression "one" when referring to someone

- list the obvious virtues of the place and sound so ad-like. This is not an advertisement

Knee-Jerk Reaction

2007-09-11T21:17:00.000-04:00

As I look over my paper, I can't believe all the silly mistakes I made. However, Dr. Keleher goes too far with his corrections and I've told him that before. The results were not at all in the range of what I had expected, and it was all a shock! I got really depressed that day, but close friends encouraged me on improvement. So, I hope to achieve better outcomes on my second chance!!

Handbook Entry

2007-09-11T20:01:00.000-04:00

Comma Splices: A comma splice results from placing only a comma between clauses.The simplest way to revise comma splices is to separate them into two sentences.
Example from the book:
(Original) My mother spends long hours every spring tilling the soil and moving manure, this part of gardening is nauseating.
(Revised) My mother spends long hours every spring tilling the soil and moving manure. This part of gardening is nauseating.
Example from my paper:
(Original) Matt and Susan pull up and park, the whole family goes outside to greet them.
(Revised) Matt and Susan pull up and park. The whole family goes outside to greet them.

Flow/Paragraph Breaks:

Docucam Session

2007-09-11T19:42:00.000-04:00

This post is going to be VERY similar to my Knee-Jerk post. In the docucam session I learned that writing papers in college is much different than high school. The run of the mill 5 paragraph essay is not going to fly, and I LOVE it! Comma splices is something I'm really going to have to work on. Knowing when to separate paragraphs is another thing I need to practice. I haven't run into any other major problems...yet!

To Do or Not To Do? That is The Question!

2007-09-11T19:38:00.000-04:00

I need to remember to:
- Watch for comma splices!
- Let my paragraphs flow more.
- Read things out loud before turning them in.

I need to remember NOT to:
- Group my paragraphs together.
- Use the same descriptive word too often.

Knee-Jerk Reactions

2007-09-11T19:28:00.000-04:00

I read every one's paper in my small group and I was scared that mine was the worst. I have a lot to work on with grouping my paragraphs and re-phrasing some of my sentences. Overall the session wasn't as brutal as I expected. I'm having trouble reading some of Keleher's handwriting but so far so good.
-I'm noticing that I use a lot of repeat words (good, I, etc...)
-I am having some fudge ups switching from past to present tense.
-Some of my sentences are scrambled and leave the reader confused!
That's all I can tell for now. Time to spruce it up a bit!

Comma Splices & Wordiness by Nat

2007-09-11T10:32:00.000-04:00

Comma Splices-

ex. It is almost tweleve o'clock, we can not make it to class on time.

Comma splices are when two independent thoughts come together with commas without a connection between the two words, phrases, or thoughts. There are ways to fix it, but simply removing the comma is not a way to completely fix the problem. You can change the comma to a semicolon.

ex. It is almost tweleve o'clock; we can not make it to class on time.

You can also change the one sentence to two separate sentences.

ex. It is almost tweleve o'clock. We can not make it to class on time.

You can insert a coordinating conjunction (which is a conjunction that joins thoughts together such as "and" "for" "yet" "nor" "but" and "so") which will bring the thughts together.

ex. It is nearly tweleve o'clock, so we can not make it to class.

Those are all aceptable ways to avoid comma splices and ways to fix them.

Wordiness-

Wordiness is simply when the writer puts too many words into describing something and will often times lose the readers attention.

ex. It was unbearably hot outside, but that is what mae the expereince enjoyable and very fun, but would also lead to the wonderful mistake that would be the best mistake I've made since coming to this wonderful school.

There are a lot of unnecessary words and most can be eliminated.

ex. It was hot outside that day, but despite the heat I stayed and would later that afternoon make a mistake.

I was able to eliminate much of the uneeded words and compress it into just what was needed.

Love is ruff

2007-09-06T14:12:00.000-04:00

Casablanca and Morrisey's "Let Me Kiss You"

There are large similarities between Morrisey's song and the scene we watch from Casablanca. One of the main similarities was the physical aspect of love. In "Let Me Kiss You", Morrisey says,"Close your eyes and think of someone you physically admire." He does not ask for someone who is his soul mate, just someone who looks good. In the movie Casablanca the main characters, who are in love, don't know anything about each other. The only reason they are so "in love" with each other is because they are just physically attracted to each other.

2007-09-04T16:29:00.000-04:00

Morrissey focuses on physical love in his song. He tells how everyone deserves a second chance and that he needs her to give him one. He knows that she despises him, but he is willing to do what it takes to be able to cry on her shoulder again.
Casablanca displays love as a perfect harmony that nothing can destroy. It cannot be broken over time or distance.
Sunset bulevard shows love to be confusing and seems to portray the fact that you must hurt one to love another and the fact that you can not help who you fall in love with.

Morrissey, Casablanca, and Sunset boulevard

2007-09-04T16:26:00.000-04:00

In Morrissey's song "Let me kiss you", I figure the song is about a person who loves someone, but the other person does not feel the same, yet the person who is so in love does not care whether the feelings are returned, just that they are with that person. There is a line of lyrics where Morrissey mentions someone closing their eyes and picturing someone they admire, but then when they open their eyes, they see someone they are not in to, and goes on to say his heart will always be open.

In Casablanca, a man and woman meet, but fall in love knowing so little about one another. People fall in love at the oddest times, and anything can tear them apart, especially a war. This occurs in most romantic tragedies, Romeo and Juliet were from two different families, and were split due to the war between the two worlds.

Sunset Boulevard was a great example that money does not rule all. Wealth can be enthrilling at first, but a persons true feeling will come out sooner or later. Once a person opens themselves up, they are doomed to be taken advantage of, definitely when the other lover has all the power and money. Love conquers all...not cash.

Spencer - Cassablanca, Sunset Blvd.

2007-09-04T16:25:00.000-04:00

In Cassablanca, the scenes we watched showed the love grow between the two main characters as the German army closed into town. The interesting occurance was that the two characters knew very little of each other, but were drawn together by the impossibility of the likelyhood of staying together. As it became more and more clear that they would soon be seperated, their desire to stay togehter seemed to grow. It was as if they were more attracted to each other simply because of the growing barrier between them.
In Sunset Blvd., the opposite was true of the first relationship we observered. With no barrier between the characters, as the rich woman threw herself at the man, he was simply repulsed. He had no desire for her whatsoever, and stated that her love for him was "embarrasing". This unrequited love soon led her to suicide, as the man soon found himself extremely attracted to the forbidden love of his friend's girlfriend.

Similarites between Sunset Blvd. and Casablanca

2007-09-04T16:24:00.000-04:00

I think the movies Casablanca and Sunset Blvd. had many similarities on what the movie's perspective on what love is.

In Casablanca, the setting is in Paris, France, which is known as a very romantic town in itself, during World War II. The part we watched was showing an American man charming a French woman (that spoke very good English), in many ways. In the excerpt, the Germans are getting closer to taking over the town and the people are worried, but the man and woman are still decently calm about it and its revealed by the way they act. As it rained, they drank champagne, listened to the piano and talked about how much they were in love and how little they knew about each other. The man says that he wants to runaway with the woman and get married to her as soon as possible. She responds to all of that with a happy face and says that she will. She also says that it will be hard for her to leave her home, but because she's in love with him she will. Also in that scene, the woman mentions that because of the war going on, it was a bad time for them to fall in love. But I think the main thing being shown during the clip we watched is that there is no "bad time" to fall in love...it just happens.

In Sunset Blvd. the clip we watched was about New Year's Eve. The man apparently was being treated very well by a rich woman who seemed to be trying to buy his love from him. He expected a large a party thrown for the holiday, but instead the woman just threw a giant party with champagne and a band for him and herself. Appalled that the lady thought she could take him for granted, he abruptly left the party. He then went to another New Year's party where he talked with a friend's girlfriend. He began talking with her, and eventually started to fall in love with her. It seemed like he really didn't care about how his friend would take it. He might be showing the same quality as the characters in Casablanca...there is no "bad time" to fall in love, it just happens.

Love

2007-09-04T16:20:00.000-04:00

In Casablanca people may think they're in love when they meet someone new and exciting. They might get all caught up in being in love but then when something life changing happens it brings you back to reality and you realize you don't want to change your life for that person because you don't love him that much. It might still hurt to let him go but you do cause you don't want to change your life for that person and you're not ready especially when you don't really know them all that well. It's hard to decide whether you want to change your life for someone that you hardly know.

In Sunset Blvd no matter how many things you buy or do for someone you can't make them feel the same way about you and you can't mold someone into what you want them to be. Also, when something happens to that person, like that lady cut herself, you might then realize how much that person meant to you. The guys face when he found out she had cut herself looked sad but i don't know for sure but the guy probably realized that not only did she maybe take him for granted that he also took her for granted and now he may never see her again.